Do you remember how it was to fall in love when you were young? Your stomach was full of butterflies and it was virtually impossible to speak to that person without your voice shaking. You felt so happy that you could die, for just the possibility to sit next to her during lunch in school. I hope some of you can relate to this feeling or maybe even recreate that feeling right now. Otherwise I just made a fool of myself one again.
Anyway, for me, this was during preschool and she was the most beautiful and popular girl in school. We were both in 5th grade, so about 11 years old. For a long time I planned to ask her if she would like to hang out with me after school, but I never dared. I mean, who am I, Why would the most popular girl hang out with me? What did I have to offer her? I wasn’t uncool or something but I always compared myself to the big boys in the 7th grade. For this story we can call them Mike and Russ. Both Mike and Russ had bigger biceps and deeper voices than I did, after all they were two years older then me. They probably had so much more experience with girls so I just had to let it go. I put my focus elsewhere, because I was certain that I wouldn’t be able to compete with those guys.
The day after I graduated high school I started as a welder at Volvo Cars Components in Olofström in Sweden, where my whole family as well as all my friends and their families worked. But I felt like I never gave my dreams of being an audio engineer working in a studio a fair change. It was like that thought was haunting me so badly that in the end, I just had to quit my job and move all by myself to Stockholm, about 550km from my family and friends. For those of you who are familiar with Stockholm, you will know that it is almost impossible to get a contract to rent an apartment. I know people that been living here for over 10 years without a contract. However I was lucky enough that my dad knew a salesman in Stockholm that had a grandmother who was married to a doctor who went in preschool with a girl who had a neighbour….. Yeah you get the deal right?
So I took my bags and moved to a small apartment in the ghetto and started studying audio engineering. It was great but a bit lonely from time to time. So basically I spent all my spare-time in the school studio learning new stuff.
After just four months in Stockholm the girl who owned the apartment called me and told me that she just broken up with her boyfriend and she had to move back, which meant that I had to find a new place to live within two months.
There I was, a young guy with no job and tiny student grant to make his living. I had already spent my hard earned money from the factory job on the school, so to just quit and move back home was completely out of the question. I spent a weekend searching for all of the landlords in the Stockholm area. Once I had a long list I started to visit as many landlord companies as I could before school. I remember carefully choosing clothes each morning because I wanted to look as reliable as possible and not like a youngster that just was interested of throwing parties. I also had my CV with me were I had wrote down all my life achievements that looking back at it now were pathetic and ridiculous.
I had so many 'no’s' that week, which probably explains why I have become immune to the answer 'no' ever since. But then suddenly my phone rang, it was the CEO of a company that had a couple of buildings around the Stockholm area. We had a short chat the other day when he caught me trying to sneak in to their office. The receptionist told me to go home and send an email like a normal person but I wanted to introduce myself so I sneaked in anyway and luckily got caught by the right person. The CEO told me that he had an apartment and he could send someone to show me the apartment next week if I wanted to. So I told him that I didn’t need to see it and that I was coming over right away to sign the paper. To me that apartment was more than just a home and a solid ground, it was a big statement. What I thought was impossible suddenly wasn’t. My prescience had paid off.
And that is how I have built my career ever since. I dare to ask for things that I don´t think most people would have the courage to ask for. That combined with a lot of hard work have put myself in a good situation. I am now working at a great post production studio, where I have the opportunity to work with really cool productions.
I personally think that there are no dumb questions, if you don’t understand something just ask. Asking questions is a proof that you actually care. It’s not about being stupid. You have more to loose if you don’t ask then if you do. I used to think that the answer is always 'no' until you ask, then it could be a yes or a maybe that may lead to a yes in the future. Today I still get lots of 'no’s', but it doesn't make me feel bad anymore. Maybe the person who said no, had a bad day, or was stressed out because he or she had a lot to do or maybe hadn’t got laid for a really long time! So a no doesn't always depend on you or your question. When you realize that life is a bit easier. From my experience just ask, otherwise you might miss out on something.
You might be wondering if I still remember the girl I was talking about in the beginning of this article? I actually met her two Christmases ago on a party. We were talking and I spontaneously without thinking told her: - Do you want to hear a funny story? I was in love with you in 5th grade. She leans over and answers me: I was in love with you too, but I thought that you didn't like me.